I'm so exhausted. I am so busy, but I do nothing. I feel I'm doing life, not living it. I walk through the motions, but they don't mean anything, really. Nothing seems genuine or significant anymore, except for petting Max. That's the one thing that is still real.
I'm worried, worried that I'm not cut out for this. For this life, for college. I don't know what to do except for drag on. I guess I'll either do it or I won't.
The only thing getting real is my mental unhealth. I feel the depression, stress, anxiety kicking in full gear. The associated derealization, lack of motivation, and fatigue are there too. Nothing is really interesting. Well, there's plenty that's interesting, just not the things I'm supposed to do.
Oh well. I guess I just keep going, or keep pretending to at least.
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