Sunday, July 21, 2013
Nature's Claim
I belong to no God or Devil. I am my own spirit, to which only nature may otherwise lay claim. I am dynamic; I move and I evolve and never stay too long in one place. I have control over my life. I am me, and only I may know that. I may falter, though I will never fall. I look lovingly upon the hair on my forearm; light though abundant. It is my hair, on my arm. It is a connection to the world around me, the world of other mammals, the world of furry beasts. I am a furry beast. I know myself, or strive to. I have company, but I am alone, my experience is mine alone, but I have the power to share it if I so choose. Max, my cat, is like me. He is a furry beast who belongs to no Devil or God. He is his own entity, and he is under his own as well as nature's dominion. There is only living for the furry beast; there is no such thing as being lost or misguided. This is simply an illusion caused by the ego of man, the ego which wishes to overcome nature. The self can overcome the ego, but the ego can never overcome nature, or ever truly overcome the self. The ego is that which pathologizes a natural life experience. There is only earth upon which we walk, hilly, steep, rocky, sometimes soft, but it is earth nonetheless, we are meant to walk it as we are meant to breathe, though at times it may not be easy. A gravelly beach is not Hades. It is a gravelly, rocky beach. We may wear shoes or not, but we must walk on either way.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
For the Eternally Childless
I've known for a long time that I would not be having children.
You are not special for having a child. You accomplish nothing that anyone else couldn't do. You gave up your own potential and passed it to another, who is likely to pass it on again, just the same, until finally someone actually uses it along the line.
Isn't it funny that parents automatically (in most cases) get full rights over their children, just because they fucked and that was the result? Everything is regulated nowadays; you essentially need a license to breathe. However, have sex and you get complete authority over the human life that results. What the hell? Many times, you need to fill out extensive applications if you want to adopt an animal (or a child for that matter), but just have a night of fun and you're good to go, no strings attached. That new, unique individual is now under your dominion, and you need no qualifications to be its master.
I will never be someone's great grandfather that they tell stories about. I will never be "awesome" in a person's eyes simply because I'm his dad. I actually have to accomplish something if I want my name to live on.
When people have children, their world shrinks. Their kids become everything that's important. Perhaps once they had dreams and thought about the vastness of the world, but now they're concerned with soccer practice and flu shots. If they still have dreams, they become depressed because they are no longer feasible. Relationships are ruined, individual potential is lost. My mother, once valedictorian-then-medical-student, says having kids was the best thing to happen to her and she doesn't regret it at all. I don't know which reality would be worse: if that's the truth, or if it's not.
I don't have TIME to have kids, even if I were capable. There are far too many things that I need to do, that I know others can't or won't. It's up to me to do what others would've/should've been had they not devoted their lives to their spawn. Having children is a response to our inherent fear of death; well, my cells live on, so I live on. Sure, but at a great cost to your own potential of leaving behind something even greater and long-lasting.
People walk around with their toddlers and I wonder what complexes are forming in the young ones. I wonder how those parents are fucking up their kids, unintentionally for the most part. We don't have a choice to be born. To have kids is to have obligations you are unable to fulfill. If you make the decision to bring someone into existence, it's up to you to take care of them, to keep them safe, to keep them happy. That's not possible. Everyone who exists will suffer. Everyone will cry. Everyone will at times wish they were never born. Parents like to think that children are obligated because the parents brought them into life, but I think it's the other way around. We didn't have a choice. You did.
You are not special for having a child. You accomplish nothing that anyone else couldn't do. You gave up your own potential and passed it to another, who is likely to pass it on again, just the same, until finally someone actually uses it along the line.
Isn't it funny that parents automatically (in most cases) get full rights over their children, just because they fucked and that was the result? Everything is regulated nowadays; you essentially need a license to breathe. However, have sex and you get complete authority over the human life that results. What the hell? Many times, you need to fill out extensive applications if you want to adopt an animal (or a child for that matter), but just have a night of fun and you're good to go, no strings attached. That new, unique individual is now under your dominion, and you need no qualifications to be its master.
I will never be someone's great grandfather that they tell stories about. I will never be "awesome" in a person's eyes simply because I'm his dad. I actually have to accomplish something if I want my name to live on.
When people have children, their world shrinks. Their kids become everything that's important. Perhaps once they had dreams and thought about the vastness of the world, but now they're concerned with soccer practice and flu shots. If they still have dreams, they become depressed because they are no longer feasible. Relationships are ruined, individual potential is lost. My mother, once valedictorian-then-medical-student, says having kids was the best thing to happen to her and she doesn't regret it at all. I don't know which reality would be worse: if that's the truth, or if it's not.
I don't have TIME to have kids, even if I were capable. There are far too many things that I need to do, that I know others can't or won't. It's up to me to do what others would've/should've been had they not devoted their lives to their spawn. Having children is a response to our inherent fear of death; well, my cells live on, so I live on. Sure, but at a great cost to your own potential of leaving behind something even greater and long-lasting.
People walk around with their toddlers and I wonder what complexes are forming in the young ones. I wonder how those parents are fucking up their kids, unintentionally for the most part. We don't have a choice to be born. To have kids is to have obligations you are unable to fulfill. If you make the decision to bring someone into existence, it's up to you to take care of them, to keep them safe, to keep them happy. That's not possible. Everyone who exists will suffer. Everyone will cry. Everyone will at times wish they were never born. Parents like to think that children are obligated because the parents brought them into life, but I think it's the other way around. We didn't have a choice. You did.
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