It's Spring Break, but I'd rather call it Spring Build.
I got the job, at the hospital. Eight hours a week that I keep having to tell myself are paid. I've only been working a few days, but it's already great and I can see it will be a worthwhile experience. Those smiles, wow, that's what I live for. My future lies in those walls..maybe not the specific ones I roam now as an underling, but what they represent, like the chambers of my heart, methodically working like a system, never missing a beat. I want to be an erythrocyte, moving to where I'm needed, bringing vital nutrients to deoxygenated tissue. Or perhaps a thrombocyte would be more appropriate, stitching up the wounds where they occur.
I'm building a bridge for physics class. It looks good on paper, but I feel once it's all glued together in the flesh it'll seem..insufficient. But I'll do the best I can, as I do with most everything else.
Well, it turns out, contrary to my delicious idealistic belief, not all people are nice, and and not all people are to be trusted, even if they drill in your head for years that they should be. I guess some people legitimately enjoy harming others. It must be an illness, how could that ever be ok? Do you disrespect yourself so much that in order to bring yourself up you have to make everyone around you more miserable than you are? That must be it. Those types of people really get on my nerves, because they ruin things for other normal, warm-blooded humans. You get hurt, when you assume someone has the best intentions, and you find out you were wrong, then you become blind. You put on a helmet, carry a shield, and you can't tell the difference between your friends and your enemies. Maybe the enemies should be trusted because at least they're honest about their position with you. There just isn't enough time to spend it being dishonest, to hide what should be open to the air, the sun, even the rain. But a scraped knee turns to a scab, which heals eventually too. If a scar forms, then you'll always have that reminder of where you've been and who you have become. Just because one jagged stone cuts you open doesn't mean you should ever forgo the rocky shores of Yachats. You'll never find your diamond if you don't search through the less-than-desirable pebbles.
We learn the things that teach the most from the things that come and pass. Sad as this fact may be it often happens at great cost. Sometimes it pays for itself, and I think that this is what has happened here. You were true and kind to yourself and to another and thefore still remain the same. Not everyone can live tomorrow the same way as yesterday, for today they are different, and inconsistency will always show in time. You have not lost anything that you had. Only that which had something has lost you. Let those who sow the seeds of misery reap the bare fields where nothing grows. Only like minded people plot there, where their heart does not dream flowers and their hands cannot grow crop. Your world is full?and fertile and very rich with wonder, their world is hollow and wasted and void of substance. In short they hold no matter. Let them matter little more. Live your life always, relentlessly dreaming, past the ugliness of horrors seen and felt.
We learn the things that teach the most from the things that come and pass. Sad as this fact may be it often happens at great cost. Sometimes it pays for itself, and I think that this is what has happened here. You were true and kind to yourself and to another and thefore still remain the same. Not everyone can live tomorrow the same way as yesterday, for today they are different, and inconsistency will always show in time. You have not lost anything that you had. Only that which had something has lost you. Let those who sow the seeds of misery reap the bare fields where nothing grows. Only like minded people plot there, where their heart does not dream flowers and their hands cannot grow crop. Your world is full?and fertile and very rich with wonder, their world is hollow and wasted and void of substance. In short they hold no matter. Let them matter little more. Live your life always, relentlessly dreaming, past the ugliness of horrors seen and felt.
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