Along the Way

Somewhere along the way,  I found the letter I had lost. 
Maybe it was an A, or a B, or a Z;  I couldn't tell because the light wasn't so good.
It was one of those things that always stays a part of you, but you sort of let yourself forget.
You let life pass you by, flowing down the current of time, and then, all of a sudden,
"Oh yeah, I remember you. I was looking for you all this time."
And you did just fine in its absence, but in front of your face, you can't imagine yourself without it.

Maybe the pain that was set in place of the proximity of my letter made me repress my affections.
Maybe it hurt so bad I tried to hate it and told everyone I did. 
But the hate was set inward because I knew I'd never let it go, not all the way.
I could reach a staged happiness, tricking even myself it worked.
And I believed myself too. Why wouldn't I?

I spent so much effort, using all sorts of erasers and paints, to make it disappear from my mind, to cover it.
But the memory bled through, and smudges remained.
Because I couldn't forget the places we'd been to, and the stories I'd written with you.
Then to drop you from my alphabet, but keep writing. How could I do that? 
I'd look at all the other letters, and they're fine, they're lovely.
They have their places and purposes.
They aren't you though. They never could be. Such a shape and sound could never be reproduced.

I'm holding you tight; now, I have you.
My only fear?
Somewhere along the way, I'll lose you forever.

 

Fire in my heart, burning just for you